Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
