Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my liver is dry heaving
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
