this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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