yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize