After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
