my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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