Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
