You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Every concussion has its silver lining
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
