well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize