We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
