hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
