If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
