hotel room ftw
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
