I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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