How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
