I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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