If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
