Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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