So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
