What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
