all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
