Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
