I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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