Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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