Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
