Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize