If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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