careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
