Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
