So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
