It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
