I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
