he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
