We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
