Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
