we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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