they need to just BURY HIM!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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