I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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