What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
