I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
