is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
