I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
