We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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