i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
