She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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