It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
