youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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