mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
