Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother

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(561): View more from Florida

So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

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(925): View more from California

is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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(315): View more from New York

Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?

(817): View more from Texas

Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.

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(708): View more from Illinois

This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret

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