i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
