I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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