Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
