found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
