Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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