dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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