Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
