There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
