I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
