Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
