who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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