he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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