I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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