theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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