Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
