How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
