She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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