dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
