Me too!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
