What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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