I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
