If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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